Ok, Im majorly sucking at this whole blog writing thing. I’ve been wanting to start a blog for over two years, and when I finally do, I can’t commit to actually getting around to writing it. I think I have a lot to share, whether or not you actually think it’s worth reading is another thing. Im going to get better, I promise. I have a goal of writing at least one blog a week.
Why am I so inconsistent? My life feels a little chaotic right now. I own my own business and Im in the “busy” season for it. My weekends are completely gone with work, and days are flying by. Most nights Im lucky if I fix my husband and kids dinner. I just had my second baby at Christmas, and moved into a new house one month before her arrival. I look around at the outdated wallpaper consuming every single wall, and I get discouraged that I’m never gonna have it all together. I sit and stare at it, and then stare at it some more, despising every inch of this horrible wallpaper that is screaming at me to take down. I seemed to get paralyzed by how much work it’s going to require. The feeling of being overwhelmed by life can be completely consuming. Yep, I think that’s where I’m at right now…. paralyzed by stupid wallpaper. Wallpaper 1, Carla 0.
I have all these things running through my head that I want to accomplish. I have dreams and visions of how great certain aspects of my life good be…and yet, fear of failure keeps me positioned safely on the couch watching re-runs of reality shows. I’ve recently realized how damaging most of these shows are on my mental state, sucking the life from me and prohibiting me of living my life to the fullest. I think the older I get the more I realize how precious time really is.
When it really comes down to it, where are my priorities? I am child of the Most High, Beloved God the Father. He has instilled in me passions and dreams. One area He has called me to focus on is being a wife and mother, my priorities belonging to those who have captured my heart. Every minute of every day ultimately leads somewhere… some actively leading me into fulfilling my dreams and others sucking the life out of them. To be honest, in the past I have struggled with putting my career first. This took years for me to figure out, but thankfully God always embraces and lovingly corrects.
This is my current life verse:
Proverbs 31: 26-27
26.) She opens her mouth in wisdom; kindly instruction is on her tongue. 27.) She watches over the affairs of her household,and does not eat the bread of idleness.
That means laying to rest activities that keep me from actively pursuing my God-given dreams. TV watching has been the single most damaging activity that keeps me from living a fulfilled life, the shows I seem to get sucked into are completely pointless. My hubby likes to say that I’m losing brain cells with the shows I choose to watch…how true. He used to make me so mad when he said that, but really he is right. UGH! Idleness is defined as “without purpose or effect, pointless.” Reality watching, or even wallpaper staring are both idle activities that discourage me instead of encourage.
Activities and people that inspire and encourage me to be the best possible version of myself are where I want to spend my time. Writing down five short term and five long term goals always helps me to narrow down and focus on what God is calling me to be. And being the best version of myself includes living a life centered around God and family, but also using my God-given talents to encourage others to find their purpose and passion in life.